Reluctance
by SleeperStar16
Summary: (TBA)


Chapter 1

Beginnings

"All good things happen to those who wait."

Alexandria 's mother's words surge through her head as she shovels the heavy cement. She gently wipes the beads of sweat from her forehead as the sun blazes down on her fair skin.

"Do you ever take a break?" Randal says slouching lazily on the wall.

Alexandria stops and looks up at him with a cocked eyebrow.

"I think you rest enough for us both"

Randal chuckles and shoves his hands into his pockets.

"And you missy don't rest at all. While I do appreciate the enthusiasm and diligence, I fear you might soon keel over."

"Dually noted kind sir" Alexandria says chuckling.

" And for the record, my diligence keeps you from getting fired for your lack there of."

Randal pushes off the wall and walks slowly over to Alexandria.

"You would look so much prettier without all the soot and cement riddling your clothes"

He tugs lightly at her worn shirt.

"Might get you noticed, maybe even married. Maybe to someone of wealthy status. That way you can get out of this horrid place" He says pointing.

Alexandria looks at him and rolls her eyes.

"I have no desire to marry."

She continues to shovel the cement.

"Nor do I have any desire to marry a man who has never had to want for anything. That sort of arrogance is best avoided."

Randal tilts his head.

" Not all wealthy men are arrogant. And besides, don't you want a better life than what's been handed to you?" "Don't you want more for your parents?"

Alexandria stops.

"My family has been doing fine up until now. I admit, times have been challenging, but we have persevered. Mother has the medicine that she needs, and now that I am working, father can be home with her."

"This can't possibly be what your parents wants for you."

Randal says compassionately stroking her cheek.

"I know they want more than this for you." He looks at her.

"Don't you?"

Alexandria tactfully brushes away his hand.

"Enough. I'm not going to change my mind. My life is fine the way it is. As long as they are taken care of, it doesn't really matter what I want now does it?"

"Lexi~"

" I think you've procrastinated long enough."

Alexandria shoves a shovel at Randal.

"Everything will be alright."

She chuckles and nudges him.

"Now stop all your nonsensical banter and get back to work"

Randal smiles tenderly at her and begins working.

"Yes ma'am."

As the days draws to an end, Alexandria ties her long sleeved shirt around her waist and put her hair into a low bun. Randal sighs in an exaggerating manner.

"What a day." He wipes his forehead.

"What day, you barely did anything."

She chuckles and folds her arms.

"You know is going to fire you one day."

"I doubt that, he needs strong people." He says flexing his muscles.

Alexandria laughs and pokes him.

"I'm sure he can find better."

"Hurtful, has my one and only supporter lost confidence in me?"

"There was never any to have. You've been lazy since the day I met you." She says laughing harder.

"Well aren't we a bit testy today." Randal wraps his arms around her shoulders and ruffles her hair.

"H-Hey stop that!" Alexandria says trying to get away.

"Not until you say I'm the strongest person you will ever know." Randal says laughing and holding on tighter.

"Quit it!"

Alexandria finally breaks away and falls to the ground.

"I'm sorry Lexi, let me~"

"Allow me."

A hand is extended toward Alexandria and she looks up. A young man kneels and smiles.

"Are you alright?"

Alexandria doesn't speak, she just stares at him inquisitively. He quirks an eyebrow as his lips stretch into a smile.

"What's the matter? Did the fall temporarily disable you're ability to speak?"

He gently strokes the bottom of her chin. Alexandria blinks and shoots up to her feet. He lowers his head slightly and chuckles inwardly. Slowly rising to his feet, he smoothes out his jacket and looks at her. Alexandria clears her throat and wipes the dirt of her hands.

"I could get a thank you at the least."

Alexandria looks up at him.

"For what? I got up by myself. No help was received."

"I did extend a helping hand. Besides~"

He points to his knee.

"I did dirty my suit for you. Couldn't I at least get an apology?"

"I'm sorry you wasted your time trying to do a needless task."

He laughs heartily.

"I suppose you're right, though I was trying to be a gentleman. It seems you don't need a knight and shining armor to save you."

Alexandria bites back a smile.

"Do you need something, or are you going to continue this monotonous conversation."

He eyes her, intrigued by her tactless speech.

"Is there a reason for your bitter words?"

"Wasting my time is causing me to become rather impatient. If that is all I would like to go. I have other things to attend to."

Alexandria moves past him. He quickly follows behind her.

"Can I at least get a name for my troubles? I believe I deserve at least that much."

"Why give a name to a complete stranger to which I hope beyond all reason to never encounter again?"

"What if I were to give you my name? Would that incline you to tell me yours?"

"It would be of no consequence."

He takes her wrist in his hand.

"That tongue of yours could get you into a lot of trouble young lady."

"If you plan to ship me off to the America's, I suggest you do so now. Empty threats will do you and I no good."

He tugs her to him. Alexandria looks up at him.

"If I plan to ship you off, trust me, you will know. And that is no empty threat." He says as he glares down at her. Alexandria returns his gaze. At that, a young woman walks up beside him and wraps her arms around his waist.

"Sebi, why are you wasting your time with this commoner?" She questions while eyeing her. "You could spend your time and energy on far more…. more entertaining people instead of this, this, woman."

Alexandria looks at her and tilts her head slightly.

"Quinn Bennet, I almost didn't recognize you with the silver spoon sticking out of your mouth. Still stuck up as always . Is your father still spoiling you rotten?" She says spitefully.

"Are you still doing poor mans work to try and take care of your miserable excuse for a family?" Quinn spits out.

"At least I can say I work hard for my family. A task you've never done."

"At least my mother was smart enough to leave my useless father for someone who could actually provide."

Alexandria glares at her intensely.

"I'm proud of my father's loyalty, which is far better than your mother's greediness."

Quinn frowns.

"So when are you marrying the man of your dreams?" Alexandria says amused.

With that Quinn smirks and looks up at him.

"Yes, when are we getting married darling?" She says squeezing his arm tighter.

He breaks free of her grasp.

"Quinn, this is neither the time nor place for this discussion. The lady and I were speaking. I would appreciate if you gave us some privacy." His eyes never leaving Alexandria's.

"But Seb~"

"I will speak with you, later." He says, jaw clenched, slowly side eyeing her.

"Yes… a later time is perhaps the best. I shall see you back at the manor."

He nods curtly at her and she departs.

"Wow, one command and she leaves with her tail between her legs." Alexandria says.

"Is this how you plan to keep your future wife in line?" "I'm sure she would do anything to stay in your good graces."

He leans in towards her.

"Perhaps it is not Quinn, but you who needs a lesson in obedience."

Alexandria's cheeks redden and he smirks.

"What? No snide remark to deflect back." He whispers and he leans in closer.

She flinches and moves back, jerking her wrist away.

"If you have nothing further to say to me, I best be on my way."

At that, Randal strides over.

"Lexi, we should be going~" he looks at him and freezes.

"Y-Your grace." He quickly bows his head. "I had no idea we would have the privilege of seeing you in the country today."

"You know this bl~"

Randal cuts her off.

"Alexandria is suffering from a mild case of exhaustion due to a long day of working. Do mind her swiftness of tongue."

"Alexandria was it?" He says narrowing his eyes. "The name seems fitting."

She rolls her eyes.

"With all due respect Sir…"

"Sebastian… Sebastian Blackbourn."

Alexandria's eyes widened for a moment but soon relax.

"I fear I have taken up much more of your time than needed. I'm sure you have other things to attend to."

He stares at her, amused.

"What if I'm not done talking to you? My previous engagement can wait."

"I don't think Quinn would appreciate that."

Sebastian laughs.

"I'm sure she will be fine."

Alexandria analyzes him.

"Sebastian?"

A older gentleman strides over to him and places his hand on his shoulder.

"What's the holdup son? We have appointments to attend to."

"Sorry father, I was engaged in a rather- riveting colloquy." Sebastian retorts, eyes still on her.

Alexandria breaks her gaze and bows.

"My apologies. I was trying to leave so that could tend to his affairs, but I'm afraid he won't go."

"I was trying to be a gentleman."

"To which was not requested nor required of you Sir." She retorts. "I am perfectly capable to helping myself."

Mr. Blackbourn laughs loudly.

"She is a real pistol."

"You have no idea." Sebastian's jaw twitches.

"As much as I would love to continue this… whatever this is. I believe your father needs you." She bows. "Your grace."

Alexandria bows once more and departs, leaving Sebastian to gaze as she walks away. Randal hurries to catch up with her.

Sebastian

I gazed at her as she walked away, who the devil did she think she was? Talking to me in such a dishonorable manner. I could have her put in the stocks for such insolence. As I pondered what consequential deed to bestow on such a matter, my father began to speak.

"She is a character." My father says still laughing.

"Did you hear the way she spoke to me? Such rudeness shall not be tolerated."

"Oh calm down son, it's not like every person is going to kneel at your feet."

"It's not about kneeling father, it's about respect for ones place."

I quickly grow more irritated at my father's lack of concern on this matter. My irritation, however subsides when I hear my name called in a lighthearted manner. My mother, Annalise Blackbourn, Duchess of Oxford, has summoned me.

"Sebastian, my dear, what is taking you?" She asks as she walks towards me grinning.

"I'm afraid our son was involved in a rather… amusing conversation with a young woman." My father says, obviously still taken by this woman.

I sigh.

"I apologize for my slowness, mother. Shall we go?"

"Who is this woman whom your father speaks of, darling?"

"No one, mother. Just another commoner who has forgotten her place is all."

"Oh my, we should do something about this." She gently cups my cheek. "She should know not to speak so illy."

I chuckle softly and take her hand in mine.

"It is of no importance your ladyship. I doubt I shall ever cross paths with her again. And, given she knows who I am now, I'm almost certain she will do her best to make sure we don't."

"See to it that you never encounter her presence again."

She grips my hand a bit before letting go and returning to the carriage. My father pats my back and follows her.

During the ride back to the manor, I found myself thinking of her. Though I told my mother it was of no importance, I found myself becoming more and more interested in her. Wanting to know who she was, and why on earth she was so snotty towards me. Here I am trying to be the perfect gentleman, and she simply dismisses me. What nerve! The more I thought about it, the more upset I got. Yet and still, I wanted to see her again. Not for any other reason but to give her a good tongue lashing. Or rather 1000 lashes. Yes, maybe that will get her to speak correctly. Before I knew it, we were back home. Stepping out of the carriage, I was immediately greeted with a warm "Welcome home your grace." I had forgotten that Quinn would be here waiting for me. It's not that I wasn't fond of the lass, she was rather easy on the eyes. Long deep red hair, with deep brown eyes. Kind of reminded me of chocolate, which at this point I could go for right about now. Her face was smooth, with cheeks the color of roses. One could say she was the perfect woman.

"I waited for you as requested." She said cheerfully.

It was like a dog waiting for it's master, tail wagging and all. I couldn't help but laugh a little inside. Was this how she would act as my wife, always groveling at my feet? Waiting for me to give her a command? I found myself chuckling harder than I had wanted. She looked at me in bewilderment.

"Is everything ok your grace?"

"Quite alright actually."

After a brief visit, tea and biscuits, Quinn went home and I was left with my thoughts. Just who was this Alexandria? Why was she so ill-mannered? Didn't her parents raise her better? As I contemplated those questions, I decided I would find the answers. From the looks of her, she looked as if she had been playing in dirt all day. Perhaps she worked as a miner, or a builder. That could explain her tough exterior and rudeness. Though, aside from her horrid attitude, she was pretty easy on` the eyes as well. Raven black hair, curly and long. Eyes as green as emeralds, with little specs of gold within. One could get lost in them. And the most distinctive brown freckles ever seen on a woman. Wait a minute! What was I thinking about? I could care less about her let alone her looks. Though, I must admit, she was quite striking. Not that I should be bothered with such a person. I plopped down in my chair, exhausted from all the thinking. Rubbing my temples, I steadily gazed out the window, into the field. Why was she so interesting to me?

Alexandria

What on earth was wrong with me? Had I gone mad? I paced the halls of our small worn down cottage nervously. I must've been overly tired, I mean, how could I have spoken to him like that? How could I have not known who he was? Sebastian Blackbourn, Sir Nigel Blackbourn, the Duke of Oxford's son. My boss no less. Oh my god! I was sure he would find out who I was. I mean of course he could; he could do anything he wanted. What if he did decide to ship me off? What of my family? What would happen to them? What would my father do then? I could go into hiding, possibly work undercover. Maybe I could find another job. My sewing job seems to be picking up. A few more clients, and I can actually start a full blown business. Oh, who am I kidding? I'm barely making ends meet as it is. And since the price for mother's medicine has gone up, there's no way I can quit now.

I walked into a small bedroom adjacent to the living room, where my father resided, caring for my mother who was smiling at him as he gently caressed her cheek. I leaned against the doorway and watched them. I couldn't help but grin from ear to ear as my father sang to my mother and told her how beautiful she was. For as long as I can remember, my mother has been sick. Father tries to tell me that mother was sick before she had me, but in my heart I know I was the cause. I was 4 when I found out. That day I feared it would be her last day on earth. She developed scarlet fever, the doctor wasn't sure she would make it through the night.

"She fortunate to have lasted this long. With the pregnancy and all. She was warned that having this baby would make her less resistant to certain ailments."

"She's always wanted a child, no matter what happened to her. I can't fault her for what she wanted."

"Even at the risk of losing your wife, you decided to keep the child."

"Agnes has been ill for years, having a child was the one thing she wanted the most, far more than wanting to be better. Alexandria's been a blessing ever since she was born. We couldn't ask for anything more than her, and we couldn't love her more than we already do. She wanted me to have a piece of her, even if she were to leave this earth." He looked at her as she slept, tears running down his face. But though there were tears, he still managed to smile.

"What's going on in that pretty little head of yours?"

I had been so wrapped up in my thoughts, I hadn't noticed my father had seen me, rather, I hadn't realized he'd gotten up at all. He smiled brightly at me as he poked me in the center of my forehead.

"You're always thinking. If you keep thinking so hard, that wrinkle will become permanent."

"Oh father, why'd you have to notice I was here?

"You aren't made of glass my dear, I would've noticed you eventually."

"How's mother?"

"Today was a good day for her, she got up and walked around for a bit. Ate, and even held a conversation with me."

"I'm glad" I smile up at him tenderly. "Oh, before I forget." I hand him a small envelope. "I didn't make much, but it should be just enough for mother's medication."

"Allie, she has what she needs for now. Keep your money, save it for when you really need it."

"But I don't need it, I'm content with what I have. I'd much rather give it to you for when mother's medication runs low. Besides, the price for it is going up. We will need all the money we can earn for it. Please, take it." I gently place it in his hand. "This is my repayment for the sacrifices you have made for me over the years."

"I've never sacrificed anything, I did everything because of my love for you and your mother. There is no debt to be repaid. Just live your life, life is too short to be wasting It."

"But I'm not wasting it, as long as I'm here with you and mother, my life will never be a waste." I smile at him.

He comfortingly strokes my cheek as he looks at me.

"How did we get to be so blessed with such a loving and generous child?"

I hug him tightly; my face sunk into his shoulder to hide my tears. He strokes my head softly as I cry uncontrollably. The weight of my guilt for being alive pouring out of me, the guilt of knowing that mother would've had a better future had I not been born. All these emotions overflowing as I am enveloped in my fathers arms.

I awoke to my mother tenderly stroking my cheek. I guess I had drifted off into a deep slumber after crying my eyes out. Father was kind, gently patting my back as I sob uncontrollably, reassuring me that everything would be alright and to cry until both my mind and heart were at piece. She looked at me with such tenderness and love that only a mother could show to a child she deeply cherished unconditionally. Though she smiled, I could still see the pain lurking behind it. Her body thin and fragile, with skin as white as snow.

"You know, for someone so young, you sure do have a lot going on in that head of yours."

She chuckled softly, a chuckle to which both made my heart leap, and ache ever so slightly. How could she love me so ardently, after all that I had done to her precious body? What she went through, the pain, the sickness. By having me, she had put her own life at risk. For that, I was both grateful and at the same time regretful that she had put my life first ahead of her own. A part of me wanted to cry all over again just thinking about it. I looked up at her, my eyes never wavering. She was so beautiful. I snuggled up closer to her and she slowly pulled me into her warm embrace. I loved the way my mother smelled. The rich scent of fresh roses with just a hint of vanilla roused in my nose and I immediately felt safe. The gentleness of her small hand on my head, calmly stroking was so comforting, that I found myself once again drifting off.

The next day I set out to take a stroll around the countryside. Since father wouldn't accept the money I had tried to give him, I figured it would be best to go get provisions and possibly a new dress for mother. I could probably get some meat and vegetables, so father could make his famous beef stew. A favorite for all of us. And maybe a floral dress for mother. I smiled at the thought of all the plans I had for the day. I visited the local market where Randal's parents had a small fresh produce stand. I could get the finest and freshest fruits and vegetables without having to haggle so hard for a decent price.

"Well, if it isn't my favorite person in the world!"

walks over, arms wide open, beaconing me to come to him. I could only smile as I walked into his embrace. His big brawny arms encasing me into his mass body, swinging me around like a rag doll. I could only laugh and hold on as he pulled me in tighter.

"Oh now honey, cut that out. We don't want to hurt the poor dear." Mrs. Harris says walking over and patting his shoulder. I peer over his shoulder and wave.

"Greetings and salutations Mrs. Harris, good to see you again."

puts me down and walks behind the stand.

"I hoped you'd stop by today. I took the liberty of packing away our finest produce just for you. I was going to send Randal, wherever that boy has gone off to, if you hadn't stopped by."

He smiled at me as he handing me the bag. I am touched by his kindness.

"How can I replay you for your generous hospitality?"

"Just keep coming back to see us and send your parents our love and warmest greetings."

I promise to do just so and hand him some money, to which he shakes his head at saying

"Today is on us."While flashing his best smile and sending me on my way.

After buying meat and mother's dress, I head home.

I decided to take the long way home, choosing to walk along the old English countryside. The weather had been positively glorious, the perfect day for a stroll. After a short while, I began to hear the sounds of horses galloping in my direction. I froze as it slowed to a stop, and the one person I had hoped to never encounter again approached me. Oh my lord, how on earth had he found me? Was I being followed? Had he sent someone out to watch my every move? Was he really going to ship me off? Oh no! I looked down. The food. Could I at least take the food home? Before I could process all of this in my brain, Sebastian was standing directly in front of me. With my heart beating uncontrollably in my chest, I gather what little courage I had to speak.

"If you're here to ship me off, at least let me take my food home before you do."

He chuckled.

"What on earth are you talking about?"

"Isn't that why you're here, to send me away?"

He chuckles harder.

"No, no I am not."

"Then why are you here? Are you following?"

"I wasn't."

"Impossible, you had to have followed me here. Or else, how would you have found me?"

" On the contrary, Alexandria, I had no idea you were going to be here. I was simply on my way to a friends home. Meeting you here was completely coincidental." He says, his mouth stretching into a sinister smile.

"Oh, well then, if you will excuse me."

Feeling foolish yet again, I politely bow and dismiss myself from his presence. I was surprised to hear footsteps rapidly approaching me as I walked. He following me. Why? I tried to ignore him, quickening my pace, but no matter how fast I went he would always catch up. Eventually this began to drive me rather batty.

"Your grace, why are you following me?"

"Just wanted to make sure you got home safe."

"While noble I do~"

"This is not an option." He side eyes me and takes the bags. "Let's go."

Gosh, why do I have to listen to him just because he was the Duke's son? I could care less.

"I'm only acquiescing because you took my food."

He laughs and continues to walk, with me following close beside him.


End file.
